My Friend, Japan

What is this? The sun is now setting at a later time, and I am overjoyed at the fact daylight is slowly increasing again. I've had quite enough of the winter darkness. Sometimes I am jealous of the bears that sleep all winter. What a life.

Probably not too realistic though. What excitement though, that spring is heading this way, oh so slowly. As I was walking yesterday, I saw a flock of birds in their typical V, heading north. I was so beside myself with excitement and fascination - exclaiming in my head that this must be a sign of spring's forthcoming arrival. Although to many, the weather really may seem like nothing, what with endless sunny days and daytime temps typically around the 40s or 50s. Yet, I rarely leave the warmth of my heater. Nonetheless! I await spring with anticipation.

So tomorrow marks 6 months since I arrived in Japan (and ironically, today marks 6 months till the wedding). The months have surely flown by, and yet at times the days have a tendency of dragging on forever. Lately I have been contemplating the development of this pre-wedding relationship between David and I - how it changes, adjusts, and adapts. The more I thought, I realized the same idea applies to my relationship with Japan. Yes, relationship.

Those first days of overwhelming amazement, awe and fascination, strikes out on that note. I "fell in love" so to speak, as it wooed me... As time went on, its characteristics became more or less normal, feeling nothing out of the ordinary. I wave my hand to anything..."oh yes it's just Japan." And then, I realized recently, as time has continued, Japan has become a dear friend. As I learn its strengths and weaknesses, good and bad points, and experience it for what it really and truly is, it touches a deeper part of my heart. It reveals its true self, showing vulnerability and yet, unveiling the beauty God bestowed on it from its beginnings.

Though I still experience times outside of my comfort zone (which I am thankful for), this place is a comfort to me. I love to share its joys and sorrows, of course, primarily from my personality, and an outsider. I enjoy getting to know it, to learn about it, and understand it. So, I find there isn't another way to describe how I feel now about it other than express the blossoming of my friendship with Japan.

Of course, it likes to tease me as many of my friends do, and David (who leaves me with sore abs and cheek muscles from laughing so hard when we're together). A couple weeks ago, I put out a few items of laundry to hang in the sun for a bit. Since it has been so dry here, I usually hang the laundry inside to up the humidity a bit, but this particular day I thought to hang some outside. Well, as I mentioned previously, Shizuoka is a wind tunnel or something, at least western Shizuoka. Normally, if the wind is blowing and my clothes are out, they just get blown together at one end of my drying pole. But not this day.

I am sitting on my computer, as usual, after I hang the clothes outside. A little while later, I suddenly hear a crash and some other loud noises. I run to the balcony and pop out the door, to find nothing but a pair of underwear laying on the balcony floor. Um, WHERE are my CLOTHES??? I practically hang over the balcony railing in search of my clothing items, figuring they must have fallen into someone's yard. Sure enough, they had. Interestingly enough, not the neighbor directly below me, but the neighbor below and adjacent to me. There were my clothes, strewn about the yard, one shirt caught on a hook outside their back door.

I ran downstairs and rang the neighbor's doorbell. No one home. Blast. I ran back upstairs and wrote a note, detailing all the items I had lost in their yard to tape to their door for when they arrived back home. Thankfully, the note worked and all my clothes were returned. Probably the most important point of this story is that somehow the underwear had slung itself off the hanger and flipped back to the balcony while everything else decided to take a trip to the neighbor's yard. That, I believe, saved quite a bit of embarrassment for me and the man who brought my clothes back. Ah....sumimasen....

Friends also like to do nice things for friends - and because of various health issues I have been dealing with over the past couple years, I am going to try a stringent diet for a couple months or possibly longer (it's not weight related, so don't worry, if anything I could stand to gain a pound or two) to see if I can't fix anything. Well, to my amazement, I have suddenly discovered various websites I can order all kinds of organic and whole foods from, even vegetables. I was smiling and dancing around my apartment by all this good news. And when a box of goodies I ordered from one place came, it was like Christmas opening it. (It really did feel more like Christmas than the actual Christmas, at least the opening presents part.) So, we'll see how this goes.

Speaking of food, I need to go clean up the kitchen and make something to eat. Here's to 6 months.

The Inspiration of Food

The winter months tend to be so dark and cold, when all you feel like doing is curling up on the couch with some hot tea, an inviting fire in the fireplace. Unfortunately, I lack two of those things, so my space heater and cup of chai satisfy for now. The fire is more for the ambiance than the warmth, but the couch I long for on a daily basis. Consequently, David hears about this couch yearning on an almost daily basis. That, among various other things, including a cat. It is as if I believe the simple act of repeating this information to him constantly will magically make them appear immediately after we move into wherever we will be living later this year. What can I say, I am always hopeful.

The kitchen, or in my case, lack thereof, has become a sort of solace from the cold and darkness. I usually enjoy cooking and baking, although it can be dependent on my mood or energy. It isn't atypical for me to pour myself a huge bowl of cereal with yogurt when I feel unmotivated or tired. However, during the winter break, when I spent much of my time the last week at home by myself, my excitement for cooking and experimentation was revived to a level similar to pre-Japan.

So let me introduce my new obsession: food blogs. As I perused the internet searching for recipe ideas I stumbled across some gems. Good food blogs incorporate tried recipes, mouth-watering photos and often little heart-felt anecdotes. My mindless hours were turned into warm adventures of the cuisine nature - marking and e-mailing various recipes, and then spending inordinate amounts of time at various super markets searching for ingredients to stock my tiny kitchen.

These ingredients all soon turned into edible masterpieces over the next week and the time following since then. I have brought the focus of my eating back to whole foods, and limiting refined, processed foods as much as possible. Living in Seattle, this wasn't hard to do, since you've got Whole Foods, PCC, Farmer's Markets, and various other organic and whole food type stores. So, living in Japan has been somewhat of a challenge for this, since they are limited when it comes to organics, and some healthy foods tend to be on the expensive side. (i.e. Brown rice is much more expensive here than I had ever found it to be in Western Washington). Fortunately, my local store has a small organics section, and I have found some places I can order from online. Now if only I could find more organic produce!

One recipe in particular I wanted to mention on this blog is for frozen yogurt. I found the recipe on one of my favorite food blogs, 101 Cookbooks. I have been missing Red Mango desperately since moving here, its soft, creamy peaks topped with bright raspberries and tiny chocolate chips - bite after bite surrounding the tongue in cold, sweet tanginess. Not to mention, the health benefits of yogurt. So after reading this recipe I immediately ordered an ice cream maker from amazon.jp, and it arrived within 2 days.

I spent about an hour at the super market deciphering yogurt labels in Japanese, to determine which would allow me to make excellent frozen yogurt. My first attempt was rather pathetic, as I wasn't patient enough to strain the yogurt correctly, and then I foolishly stopped the maker after it had started to try and fix the churn paddle. This last step immediately froze the yogurt into stiffness. No frozen yogurt that night.

My second attempt was the one to write home about. After allowing my yogurt to strain in the fridge while I was at work, then whipping it up with some honey, I plugged in the ice cream maker, pressed the "on" button, and scooped the yogurt into the churn. I went about my business as it noisily churned for about 20 minutes. I went back to check it, and to my delight, I was met with an overflowing bucket of soft, creamy fro-yo. I happily ate the entire thing (two large bowls) and felt a bit sick later that evening - but I don't regret it, as it was perfectly satiating to my taste buds.

Some other notable food blogs I discovered for my particular pursuits are: Gluten-Free Girl and Elana's Pantry. Both are gluten-free, but I find them full of healthy ideas, and relying less on foods that aren't as whole or healthy. Each links to more food blogs, but even just a web search will highlight various blogs depending on your particular cravings.

One thing I have realized is that reading about other people's cooking experiences motivates me to create my own culinary experiences. Similarly, as I also was reading various other blogs of different nature, I also find that other's lives inspire me as well. Much like reading a book, feeling inspired by the character's outcomes (non-fiction or fiction) and finding new motivation to move forward in whatever area of your life. Like discovering new tastes and ideas, new recipes for life may abound.

So as my motivation to cook has intensified, so has my motivation in other parts of my life. Rediscovering purpose in the face of change, learning how the changes apply and subsequently understanding the results, whether immediate or distant. To gain perspective is like gaining freedom, because the future becomes less fearful.

What am I referring to specifically? Probably a myriad of things - anything and everything I think about on a daily basis. It has already been almost 6 months since I've been in Japan, and how strange as it has felt so short. I still feel that I am adapting more each day, learning more each day, not just about Japan and its people, but about myself, who I am and where I am going. In that sense, being here is an outlet for me, a space to stretch the thoughts and inspire creativity. I've grown quite fond of it.

Anyway. I've finished my tea. It was nice chatting with you.

Don't Know Why You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello...

Has anyone been wondering why the title of my blog is Sayonara, Goodbye? Well, if you've read the first post it was probably quite obvious as I hashed out a final dedication to my life in Seattle. I said goodbye to Seattle, and 9 hours later, hello to Japan. It was a physical and metaphysical farewell, to what had become a place close to my heart, and a life, identity, so familiar to me. The events of these past months have ensured a continual goodbye, to most of what I know of myself. The New Year faded in as listlessly as any other stroke of midnight... I shift my eyes to the clock, noticing it's 12, and find my mind drift to another thought. In fact it was today (January 2nd) that I realized for the first time it was actually 2009, and only because I saw some poster in Hamamatsu with a big, fat 2009 plastered across it. Just as we all say goodbye to an old year, I've been doing the same to myself.

Before you start to think I'm becoming depressed from culture shock or something, don't worry, it's my identity that is getting the boot here, not my physical self. To most of you will probably come as no surprise that marriage is a big part of this identity-loss, but also just being in a place where my independence is being stretched and challenged in various ways to reshape it. My thinking, perspectives, ideals, are constantly being shaped, and mostly by listening to other people talk, and how they act. I am becoming different, just as I had spent the past several years figuring out WHO I was. So now, who am I and who will I become? Probably a better, maybe the best, version of myself, so why fight the process.

Foreigners living in Japan, with little Japanese ability (including myself, I'm working on it!) can formulate all kinds of preconceptions and perspectives on how people think, their intentions, cause and effect, etc. I seem to hear a lot of generalizations of Japan and the people, even by those who have more language ability and have lived here for some time. Sometimes, I am also tempted to generalize ways of life and how people are, but usually I end up taking a step back when I hear someone else generalizing something. Though Japan is quite homogeneous, I still find many exceptions, and it makes me think of how easy it is for humans, to be so influenced by not only their own culture but also their geographical or social "sphere" (ethnocentrism). We are limited to our experience, what we see, but we sub-consciously find ease in coming up with these generalizations or beliefs, because they are true in "our" world. Fascinating.

I thought of this today riding my bike back from the train station. The winter is so dry here in Shizuoka, but with perpetually clear skies. The mountains are beautifully blue and sharp in northwest, taking turns rolling up and down. Mt.Fuji sits as a backdrop to these in the northernmost corner of them... never visible in the summer, but the clear skies bring out its snow-capped top. Towards the south, where I live, are the green hills, the ocean far behind them. I thought of how beautiful the scenery is, and thought of how beautiful the scenery is in Washington, with mountains wherever the eye looks and beautiful waterscapes. It occurred to me as I contemplated generalizations, that scenery such as this is shared everywhere. They are all different, all with their own characteristics, but the general makeup is essentially the same. To put it more concretely, whenever I think about the differences, often cultural, the similarities always come to mind at the same time. It is a balance of the two, with a basic underlying nature. Generalizations - just don't always work.

Enough of the philosophical pondering. So, as yesterday was New Year's in Japan, I felt I should do something culturally applicable. I haven't really been doing much else this past week as it was winter break and I've been enjoying lounging around at home. My supervisor had suggested I visit a nearby temple, which is apparently quite popular. It literally is only about a 15-20 minute bike ride from my apartment, just up the hill, but I just hadn't gone yet. So, I figured I would go to the temple, which is what many (if not most) Japanese people do during those first few days of the New Year, as is customary.

So, I hopped on my bike and pedaled out onto the street. Now, something important to know about Shizuoka, particularly where I am, is that the winter brings lots of WIND. It reminds me of Ellensburg (WA), the wind tunnel. So we have these super strong westerly winds, which makes bike travel quite an epic battle, as most of the main direction I go seems to usually be west. So as I pedaled out of the apartment driveway, I was hit by a huge blast of wind which knocked my bike off course. I pedaled maybe 5 more seconds when my ears started aching, that sharp pain you get from doing active things in the cold. I had to go back and grab my hat, which I have a tendency of forgetting and then regretting when I'm out biking against these freezing gusts.

I reach the main arterial near my apartment and find a long line of cars, stretched out past the bridge that crosses north/south over the train tracks that run east/west. I turn south up the hill, past my high school, down the hill to 7/11, to the bookstore next to the traffic light. I realize at this point the line of cars is also going to my destination, the temple. Makes it easier for me, I thought, now I know I won't get lost (although you all know having an iPhone, I can't really "get" lost anymore). So I pedaled gleefully on the sidewalk past all the cars, laughing to myself that I was going to get there before all of them. Honestly, these people would get there faster walking really. Then, my sidewalk ended.

So I kept on the shoulder for awhile but almost was driven off into some tea fields b/c of how narrow it was. I pulled off onto a sidestreet to determine my current location and figure out an alternate route. Some Brazilians walking by said hello and laughed at me, and then asked if I was ok in Japanese, but I think they were making fun of me, although I'm not entirely sure why. To any bystander I just looked as if checking my phone, could have been text messaging for all they knew. I may have had some odd expression on my face, but I have no idea.

I determined my alternate route and rode the shoulder on the opposite side of the road (yes, GASP, against traffic). I took a right and headed UP the hill and into this cool tunnel. I emerged to find myself surrounded by tea fields, everywhere, and windmills. I happily pedaled along with no traffic until right up to the end, where again, line of cars. After arriving at the main area, which turned out to be quite large with lots of buildings, I headed past all the food vendors and into the crowds. Weaving in and out, getting run into by small Japanese children, and speeding past people content to walk behind the people in front of them like cattle (I hate crowds). I discovered this temple place has a teahouse, which was quite exciting.

Then, in front of me, I gasp. The largest flight of stairs. Ever. In Kyoto, there were plenty of staircases since these temples seem to like stairs for some reason, but this... was just insane. I would liken it to the grand staircase at Kyoto station (which for the record, I walked down, not up). Groaning in my head, and cursing stairs under my breath, I headed up, still weaving in and out of people, tripping over small children and speeding past women in heels who seem to be having difficulties. In efforts to take stress off my knees I work on using my glutes and hamstrings. Like a workout video or something "1, 2, 3, rest, 1, 2, 3, rest". My heart rate rises since I don't do enough cardio exercise (biking doesn't seem to do anything for me most of the time) and I reach the middle. I think I am at the top, then I look up. More stairs. I mutter that this temple better be worth all this exertion. Then I think I can tell David I exercised by climbing this gigantic staircase. I think that I should come back everyday just to climb these stairs. I think that I forgot to get a water bottle on my way here. Etc....

Then, I practically fall on my face as I reach the top. I was so distracted in my thinking I didn't realize I had reached the top and so I took another imaginary stair step and stumbled forward. But there was the temple, packed with people. I am not sure what they were doing but it must have been something at least semi-important. I didn't care to wait in the line so I sort of meandered around briefly, took a few pictures, told myself to come back when its not so busy, and then headed down in search of food.

That was the extent of my New Year's "celebration". Again today there were long lines of cars headed to the temple... some all the way to the train station (maybe 4 miles I would guess). I was a fool to attempt running errands today, so I can't wait for things to settle back into a routine again. Same for me, I have enjoyed having a break, and I don't really want to go back to work yet, but I know I need to get back into some kind of routine again. Not that I ever really had one to begin with...

Speaking of the break, Christmas was last week. I made treats for David and his brother since I was visiting them, and I have to say the pumpkin bread I made turned out amazing. I kept thinking to myself how I wanted to eat it all up except that I wanted to give it to the guys. I also made another batch for some of my students who came for a "christmas party" on Christmas Eve. I made food, they brought a bunch of food (mostly treats) and we sat around and ate food and played some games, listened to Christmas music and chatted. It was such a blessing really, to be able to have time like that with them, when they are uninhibited and speak freely about things, also in English. That is the kind of thing I have been missing from Seattle, when I got to hang out with the kids I worked with, spending time with them, and it wasn't all structured. They are sweet kids, and kept talking about dangerous Japanese mothers. I also taught them the difference between a crush and a boyfriend (for English). Such vital English, I know.

Anyway back to Christmas Day, so I hopped on the Shinkansen to Tokyo. My new trick riding the Shinkansen now is to buy unreserved tickets (cheaper), and then I find two empty seats, I sit in the aisle seat (since I feel more comfortable on the aisle, I hate feeling trapped in window seats) and then put my stuff in the next seat. I then pretend I am asleep at every stop so people don't sit next to me. Although, they are usually scared of me anyway I think. Its a strange little quirk I have I suppose.

After I arrived at my destination in Tokyo, Ikebukuro, I somehow had to figure out where to meet David and his brother, and I wanted to crawl into a corner because of how busy it was. It is one of the busiest train stations in Tokyo, but they tend to stress me out, so I usually have my headphones in my ears to at least alleviate some of the situation.

After meeting up with the guys, the day was spent getting food, looking at fun electronic toys in Akihabara (me wishing I had money because there were so many fun things to buy and I didn't have any money to spend), getting more food and playing some videogames. It has been so long since I have played Time Crisis or any shooting game and so when they started playing one and I took a turn and all the old feelings came back. My turn ended so quickly - oh so sad.... how I miss the shooting games. We played the taiko drum game too... which I love to play, and I liked it the first time because I beat David's brother but then I played against David and he beat me. Psh. (I totally pretend I don't pay attention to the score but we all know that's all I pay attention to). Actually the last couple songs we did I couldn't pick up the rhythm at all so I just started randomly pounding and squealing and making exasperated noises. I failed.

The rest of the time was nice and I love staying in hotels... and got to see where they lived when they were younger and meet people they know and whatnot. It was a nice break. I was sad when I had to go back home. As much as I love ol' Fukuroi...

Well. What did this all have to do with goodbye. Just saying goodbye to 2008 and all that happened. Time to move on, look ahead, move forward, all that. Not in any stereotypical "New Year's goals" kind of way, but just to realize that sometimes its time to just let things go, and accept the changes to come... embrace them as essentials to growth and learning, and just, good change. So its just that time of year, to say goodbye, to myself and who I've been up until now - and say hello to everything new.

And to say goodbye for this blog entry, which has become so extensively long. Goodbye to sleeping-in too. Till next time.

Happy Holidays... and Regular Days

Wow... time flies. Where has it gone? It seems like only a few weeks ago I was spending my first days in Tokyo, completely overwhelmed and feeling akin to children on Christmas Day.

My negligence is hardly excusable - though I have been busy, I find myself too tired at the end of the day to muster up any sort of intelligent blog chatter. Not to mention the rapid deterioration of my English, as I constantly replace appropriate words with those understood in this culture, i.e. "difficult" for "hard", "correct" for "right" or "finished" instead of "done". Perhaps, my spoken English tends to be rather candid and plain, but I have spent all too much time pondering the nuances of language and communication. My sarcasm initiates confused looks on fellow teachers and students, even those teachers who are strong in English. Even things like "and stuff", though I would not dare use it in the written word, leaves so much for conversation, whereas here... even that draws a "I'm confused" response. So when you speak to me in person, do not be surprised to hear me speaking slowly, dumbing down words in a sentence as I speak, and repeating myself multiple times. Its just the nature of the beast, or some such catchphrase as that.

Shall I start with Thanksgiving? Clearly, Thanksgiving is not a holiday in Japan - though Japan has so many holidays so it doesn't bother me at all (3 day weekends are excellent!). Considering I never do anything "holidayish" or "familyish" anyway, it didn't feel different than any other year. Well, I suppose to celebrate, or perhaps poke a bit of fun at it on my part, my fellow Fukuroi ALT and I headed to KFC for a fried chicken dinner, coleslaw, etc. That wasn't quite enough so we ended up going to eat at another place not too long after. Oh, I also bought an external hard drive that evening - Happy Thanksgiving to me. Oh yes, I forgot, I also made a pumpkin pie with David when I went to visit him a few weekends ago. Also should add I made the most delicious Banana bread in my toaster oven.

The weekend after I visited David, I went back to Tokyo with one of my friends for the weekend. Honestly, I could hardly think of Seattle as a city after spending time roaming the various areas of Tokyo. Some places we visited, if interested, were Ginza, Ikebukuro, Harajuku and Akihabara. Our first stop was Tokyo station, which we didn't get sucked into like at Kyoto. We then randomly found Ginza, unintentionally, as we were searching for pizza for lunch. It would just so happen that our hard efforts to find pizza for that meal, were ironically unnecessary the rest of the weekend as we found pizza shops everywhere after that. I also discovered a cool new feature on my phone, so if I type in "pizza" or "starbucks" or something on my GPS map, it shows me all the places I can go nearby. Spiffy.

It was somewhat homey wandering around Tokyo and seeing a Starbucks quite regularly. Or Tully's. Or another coffee shop. Really, it isn't just Seattle. The nice thing is that the Starbucks are open late in Tokyo, so we had a place to sit and chill out when we were tired of walking.

Back to the districts of Tokyo, or at least the 4 we went to. Ginza is one of those posh shopping districts. Burberry, Coach, Armani, Louis Vuitton, etc. Walking around for about 20 minutes made us realize we wouldn't be able to afford anything there, so pretty much promptly left.

Ikebukuro is where we stayed the night. We visited a popular place called "Sunshine City." Plenty of shopping, somewhat more affordable, but even Gap here is twice as expensive as Gap in the U.S. Various other attractions, a terrace, etc, but we went to a "food theme park." Not sure what you think of when you think food theme park, but basically the place is like a giant maze, outfitted like something I would imagine Disneyland would resemble... Really we kept commenting on how we felt like Alice in Wonderland or something. Basically though, the "food" part of it is a bunch of vendors that sell all different kinds of things. So naturally, I wanted to visit the ice cream part of it. Of course, I chose something that looked to be lemonade in the characters, "レモネ - remone". They handed me the cup with light blue ice cream. Uh, what? Blue lemonade? Well, I figured, I'm in Japan, not really abnormal. A taste left me wondering if it was some kind of fruity bubble gum flavor, but I think that was the color deceiving me. A look in the Japanese-English dictionary on my phone told me that it was actually a flavor derived from lemonade soda pop. Ah ok, non-carbonated lemonade soda pop, now I can see it...

When wandering back towards our hotel, we were walking, and as usual I end up getting in everyone's way. Someone on a bicycle was heading towards us, me oblivious as usual, as my friend calls out my name so I can move. Well I realize it, say "Oh crap!" and run to the side, except rather stupidly, IN FRONT of the bicyclist to the OTHER side of the sidewalk. Don't ask... I really to this day have no idea why I did that instead of just stepping back.

The following day we went to Harajuku, which is known for different things, but supposedly the youngsters dressed all punk and crazy that hang out there... However, it is also well known for the, again, shopping. The street, which these outrageously expensive shops line is beautiful, but too long. I don't know how the women in heels do it. I also thought to myself how people have the money to spend on these name brands in faltering economies around the globe, because yes, Japan is in a recession also, although from what I've heard, it hasn't really been out of one for sometime. Buying Coach and Burberry must be stimulating the economy - if anything.

Akihabara is known for electronics, which on any day that I am loaded with cash, would have been a real treat. However, I was so overstimulated I went into somewhat of a comatose state for me. Next time.

The treat of my weekend was a glorious Mt. Fuji on the train ride back. See left.

Christmas is almost here - I will be going to Tokyo for a few days to see David and his brother, then either hanging out on my lonesome in Fukuroi for a whole week or perhaps getting lost somewhere in Japan - depending on how much $ I have. I only have to take three days of paid leave but with that we have two weeks off. Oh, which to explain, Japan does not celebrate Christmas as a national holiday like many other countries do. Many people do celebrate it in some way though I suppose, considering there are Christmas items everywhere and they are relentlessly advertising their "Christmas cakes." Christmas cake is a tradition in Japan - though I don't know where it came from as I have yet to hear of people having Christmas cake anywhere else... at least on a large scale basis.

On the other hand, New Year's is of course, huge here. So, the whole second week of my break is primarily for that reason. And since they don't believe in debit cards here, I have to stock up on cash beforehand.

Before I leave you to another day, I just wanted to share some of those "Kids say the darndest things" moments, er, maybe in this case it would be "learners of English"... (and I'm sure I sound equally as amusing when I speak in Japanese to native Japanese people...). We just finished up our second term so the students had final exams. I absolutely loathe this time and grading exams. I seem to lack the focus and attention to detail, and end up making more mistakes than any competent educator should. However, one section of the test was a "How do you feel" dialogue. So, someone asks how they are, they say they feel bad or sick, then are asked what is wrong, and respond with whatever their ailment is or something similar. Well... a few responses for you, but just as a precursor, I am quite proud of their creativity and attempts to think outside of the box.

B: I am not good.
A: What's the matter?
B: I am a sick.
A: I will call your mother.


B: I have a sick.
A: What's it to you?
B: I am a fever.
A: You will be sad.


B: I am sleepy and tired.
A: What's wrong.
B: I studied English last night.


Yes, it certainly breaks up the monotony of grading 200+ tests.

Well folks, I must bid farewell for now... and I'll be getting a faulty crown replaced this saturday, so, I hope I survive.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Not Soon Enough

‘Tis the Christmas season. Lights are up, Santa and his reindeer are graced across building tops, and Christmas music streams from store speakers as their consumers, er, I mean shoppers, busily shop. As soon as November 1st arrives, so does consumer Christmas – and I had never really thought about how Christmas affects other countries’ economies, not until now.







I’ve been quite in the Christmas spirit, as I occasionally give in to the temptation to play a Christmas song or two on my iPod while I’m lazying around my apartment. I don’t want to get sick of it too soon so I try to moderate how much I play. Yet when I visit the larger stores or train stations I am embraced by all things Christmas – trees and lights and ornaments, cute little snowmen that light up… and me oohing and ahhing over them and deciding I want this, and this, and this. Oh and a tree! I want a tree too!

I was shopping in Hamamatsu yesterday, debating whether to shell out some major yen for more warm clothes (even though really, I probably have more clothes than I need), looking at baking supplies (I finally found a spatula!) and overall enjoying the feeling of walking around department stores being materialistic. I tend to sing along with the holiday tunes under my breath, as I contemplate the religious implications they have despite being played in a very secular country. Every time I see a tree I break out into a wide grin, and I walk around smiling for what appears to be no particular reason, especially since I am alone. I suppose when you have lived a life of rather constant change and instability, something like Christmas just brings a sense of calm, and homey feelings that I don’t normally feel. It’s also the last exciting time of winter, as January through March is a long, cold, boring stretch.

Since I’ve been in such holiday spirit I decided I wanted to do something Christmasy for the English Club at my school. They’ve been having a rather uneventful time lately and I thought of a fantastic idea to liven things up – gingerbread houses! I avidly drew a sloppy picture on the board as I explained how to make a gingerbread house to the students – they watched me with questioning eyes, probably only understanding half of what I’m saying. Finally, I finished my elaborate presentation, which felt more like a persuasive argument, and finished off by offering a few more holiday ideas we could try. We took a vote and when we said gingerbread house – all their hands shot up instantly. Nothing like candy to motivate teenagers. Anywhere. Works like a charm.

I had to work Saturday as it was open school day, and after a week of locating ingredients to make the gingerbread houses, and spending a tiring 3 hours whipping up batch after batch and pouring into plastic baggies for 30 students, we finally were able to finish off my long week by putting together crackers and decorating. Needless to say, the students all had a lot of fun, gasping when their little cracker roofs collapsed because they were so selfish with their frosting, stuffing their faces with candy and trying to make perfect little houses. After we had finished they all thanked me eagerly and tried to explain (in English) how fun it was. It was the highlight of my week, or maybe I was just high on sugar…

How am I doing since I arrived in Japan – well to be honest, I lack motivation to do most everything. The only thing I feel motivated to do lately is bake or sit around and watch TV or movies. I seem to have fluctuating days of stepping out of my comfort zone and then hiding away like a hermit. Could also be the weather, as it has gotten rather cold (40s at night, 50-60s during the day) and I just sit in front of my heater most of the time. Although yesterday when I was in Hamamatsu it was a gorgeous, sunny day, probably just below 70 – felt like perfect Fall to me. I just find that I do a lot of stretching, a lot of compromising, and a lot of mental and emotional work figuring things out that I tend to need more time to hermit. Kind of like a barnacle… how they withdraw and contract when they are out of their comfort zone (or I suppose what would be their survival zone). But they instinctively know when its time to withdraw… and I think in general I have really learned how to follow my instincts so I recover and recharge well.

As I was in Hamamatsu yesterday I tried to find the Immigration office to get my reentry permit. I spent quite a bit of time walking and usually I am excellent with maps and location – however; this time I was truly confused. A police officer randomly stopped me with a “what’s up?”. I looked at him quizzically…. What did he just say? He asks me what country I’m from, I tell him America, thinking perhaps he’s going to ask me to whip out my alien card, when he said “What’s up – Hello greeting.” And I let out of a breath of relief – ooooohhhhh, what’s up…. Oh well not much, just looking for the immigration office.” (As if that was some safe way of playing it… but oh well). He gladly pointed out the way and I did the whole bowing/thanking thing and went on my way. I got lost, turned out they were wrong. I walked in some large random circle thinking I had figured it out when I found an official looking building. I saw what was a “gaikokujin corner” (foreigner corner) and wandered back that way to grab a number. I looked around the room trying to decide who I might be able to ask but everyone looked so busy so I just decided to sit and wait.

Half an hour then turned into 2 hours when some nice Brazilians sitting next to me joked about how long the wait was, after first trying to speak in Japanese to me. I told them what I was waiting for and they both gasped, told me I was in the wrong place, and couldn’t believe I had waited two hours. The woman promptly showed me to the immigration office (I don’t know if its just me but it seems that I am usually walked everywhere). Turned out the building doesn’t look official at all – it resembles more a dark gray, rusting, peeling shack in the middle of houses and apartments between these two streets that are more like alleys. It had also just closed 10 minutes ago. Looks like the re-entry permit will have to wait awhile.

Well I consoled myself with Mister Donut and arrived home to find that one of my futons had fallen into the neighbors yard below. I paced my apartment, formulating the best sentence in my head to ask if they had my futon, and apologize profusely, when a little woman knocked on the door, holding out my futon… Oh, sumimasen…

Speaking of futons – I need a new one. They seem to be quite flat now, or maybe they were but I think they are more flat now than when I first used them. They and the mosquitos contribute to sleepless nights. Mosquitos, you say? In November? The little blood-sucking monsters apparently withstand cold temperatures…or they are drawn to my apartment because I am the inhabitant. Most nights as I am drifting off to sleep I hear a whining buzz above my head, to which I groan and curse the bugs as I throw off the covers, groggily flip on the light, search for the swatter and stalk around the room, praying to find the little disturbance so I can go back to sleep. After about five-ten mintues I usually find it, kill it and return to sleep. However, two nights ago I failed to find the offender, and with the clock steadily blinking towards 12, went back to sleep. I woke up the next morning and spied it sitting on the wall, sleeping. I reached for the swatter and swiftly ended its bloody life. Unfortunately this was all too true as it splattered on the wall, (most of the time they don’t splatter blood) and realized the little sucker had gotten me somewhere. I suddenly saw a bite on my hand the size of Mt. Fuji. Not soon enough. Not soon enough.

Which is the mantra I have been saying for my upcoming weekend to Ishikawa…not soon enough. I’ve also been informed its frightfully cold, at least in Ashley cold standards. Might have to pull out the down jacket. And some of those hand warmers you shake…

The Compromise of Fall (and a Blue Toe)

On a calm, sunny Saturday, I'm lounging on one of my recently purchased $20 chairs that resembles more of a seat cushion with back support. Alison Krauss has been crooning in the background as I munch on chocolate covered almonds and pineapple. Finally, I thought, some time to sit and write. Why have I not written in the past two or three weeks? I suppose a lack of motivation, as it seems to have permeated almost all other areas of my life.

I know tonight everyone dressed up back in the States, to go out and beg for candy (or perhaps to get drunk), and I have not missed the pre-Halloween prep that I generally experienced in the past. The closest I got to Halloween this year was allowing my students the chance to decorate pumpkins (drawings) rather than forcing another worksheet upon their already burned out and tired minds. In fact, my 1st year students even had a test today - and it's Saturday. Yes, every once in awhile these children have Saturday school, and not as a form of punishment. I believe I have to work on Saturday in a couple weeks.

As it has been a couple months, I am starting to grow accustomed to the expectations I believe my teachers and school has of me. It has been a bit uncomfortable and awkward, as any new situation ever is, and especially when they are not overt in what they want. Nonetheless, I feel as if I have broken through the initial stages of adjustment to a new job and have found a pretty good rapport with many of my students and teachers. More of the students seem to feel comfortable with me and often greet me or talk to me outside of class, much as I would expect when I was in Seattle. In fact just yesterday as I was leaving to go home, the baseball boys (who were out practicing on the field) all turned and took off their hats to nod their heads and say "masu" which is kind of a shortened version of pretty much any polite phrase, but is only used by males.

Speaking of gender differences - there are various socialized gender roles here, but seem to be more apparent among adults than what I see of my students. They tend to be more subtle, and I think vary depending on context and location, but I often see the women in the teacher's room taking care of things like answering phones and closing and opening windows and such. Then again, I've also seen women do this kind of thing in the States too, but my guess is that they are just raised to take care of such things. To be fair, the men also answer the phone in my teacher's room, I just never see them racing to the phone like the women tend to. I've talked to other ALTs though and they say its quite different in their teachers' rooms.

I was asked to play in a teachers' soccer game (against teachers from another school). I was a bit surprised to find that it was only men playing in this game, aside me... Well, I was pretty useless during the game for most of it, aside being able to run into position faster than anyone else, or jumping after the ball - my shooting skills are subpar. However, a great tragedy occurred as a result of this game, as I will soon be losing a toenail. Yes, in a wild attempt to snag a lose ball and then send it towards the goal, I ended up somehow losing a bit of balance with the momentum and inertia fighting each other and basically the ground bent back my left toe, and felt like the nail with it. Well, I was tempted to stay down, to limp off the field and relax, but the athlete in me ignored the pain, stood up and continued on, despite limping. I didn't look at the toe until I got back home, and yes it was quite blue when I saw it. I went into an utter panic, debating calling an ambulance (oh wait I don't know how to call an ambulance) and then my supervisor, but David convinced me my toe would not need amputation so I decided to take a few ibuprofen and wait till the next day.

After limping to school about 10 minutes earlier than normal (since it takes awhile) and showing the nurse my swollen blue toe, she assured me it was fine and the nail would fall out on its own. I am not sure how assuring that was... but I have been quite emotional the past few days at the parting with this toenail. It made me consider the benefits of having toenails, and what a great source of comfort they can be at times. Then I realized, sometimes you just don't value things until you lose them or see them go. So as I lose a toenail, I realized the other things in my life that I have been conflicted over losing. Much of it a sense of identity from moving to a new culture and then of course, preparing to get married, and other things that are such a part of me, like my toenail, that I feel the need to hold onto. Then I become emotional, cranky, and complain about these things, using the toenail, and sometimes the impending wedding (not MARRIAGE but WEDDING) as scapegoats.

It is thus that I continue to learn how to compromise in this place, compromising much as I mold myself into expectations at work, and compromise in other ways to fit into a lifestyle that works all right for me here. Sometimes I grow tired of compromising and simply shrug it off as I give way to my socialized habits, and then I find its my way of coping as I deal with the compromise. Fall back into natural patterns, they are comfortable, they are easy, they are familiar. How often do we do that? A chance to grow comes along, to learn, to change, and sometimes we offer the excuse of well this is me though, I am the foreigner, so why should I try to fit into this mold... or why should I change in this way that makes me so uncomfortable.

The other weekend a friend and I visited the coast and then seven famous waterfalls. We of course, had many things happen to us as normal. After getting off the train we were supposed to be on and realizing we had 20 minutes to wait till the next one, we exclaimed over a nearby soba shop. As we eagerly slurped our noodles, my friend motioned behind me, and as I turned my head, two rows of people (sitting on benches) were staring at us. Of course, when I turned to look, they immediately whipped their heads around. David said something about the fact that we can use chopsticks can amaze them sometimes.

After reaching our destination to go to the coast, we spent awhile deciphering a bus schedule and map. A lady finally came up and asked us (in English) if we needed help. She then proceeded to find us a map, and essentially walked us down to the trailhead. This was a bit of a walk from the station too... We enjoyed spending some time rock hopping and an impromptu photo shoot at the coast as the sun set, and then as we headed back up the rockface (I wish I could say something adventurous like we climbed it but really it was just a trail type thing cut out of the rock), the same woman who had led us to the trailhead appeared - apparently to make sure we had made it. She then led us to a suspension bridge and offered to take some (blurry) pictures of us.

The next day we visited Nanadaru, or Seven Waterfalls, and of course missed the bus stop after a brief debate over whether the next stop was ours. So, we got off at the following stop, and my logic thought it wiser to keep heading forward rather than back, as it was uphill and figured forward would help us figure things out easier. Well we ended up walking on the shoulder of a highway, and then down this famous spiral bridge, laughing the entire time at how dangerous it was, and me commenting on feeling like a hitchhiker (with my backpack and everything). So we eventually reached the end of the waterfall trail according to my friend, and checked out an awesome onsen that is right at the base of one of the waterfalls. (It was an outdoor, co-ed one you wear swimsuits). They had some caves too, but some strange guy was singing so it sounded like chanting and creeped us out. But it was pretty relaxing to sit in an onsen at the base of a waterfall. Amazing more like it.

I wasn't feeling like hiking to the other waterfalls after that, but it ended up being like a walk in the park and maybe 20 minutes or something. (The pictures of all this by the way are in my web albums). To complete the fun weekend of constant fun and embarrassments, Mt. Fuji was visible for the first time that weekend, so i got to stare at it out of the train before it got dark, and it was really nice.

David came to visit last weekend, and I attempted making an apple pie. Of course, finding the ingredients in Japanese can be a bit of a problem, since they aren't all in characters I understand. Had a bit of an issue finding unsalted versus salted butter. I got so frustrated before I realized I could just look at the sodium content. (I would tell David, just try the Epson paper.) We baked it in my toaster oven, and it turned out all right, though certainly not the best pie I've ever made. I realized after talking to another teacher that the flour I used was definitely not a good kind for pie - I assumed you could because of the cookies on the front. Ok then - have to find different flour for our pumpkin pie attempt next month.

The sun is now setting, and the air smells crisply fall as I have gone to sweaters now. Think its time to get some curry cooking.

Can't say Noh to Thrift Stores, but Can to Brazilian Stalkers

Time now. 9:55 p.m. The 2nd day of my 3 day weekend. Yesterday was spent wandering the streets of Iwata, or rather, the random stores - depaato (department store), thrift store, and dinner at Kappa Zushi (a revolving conveyor belt sushi restaurant). Surprisingly, my fellow Fukuroi ALT pointed out that the thrift store had kimonos. Thus, at least half an hour was spent trying on various colors and attempting to wrap it around myself in a realistic manner, then turning this way and that in the mirror and asking countless times... "what about this? Is this a good color?" Eventually, some women, perhaps a store employee or maybe just random shoppers, came near to where we were trying on kimonos and sat down, "folding" obis (the bands that you wrap around the kimonos). It felt like spying. Perhaps they were ensuring the crazy loud foreigners would not leave their precious used, smelly and slightly stained kimonos in a disarray. Or maybe they thought we would try to smuggle something out - because really, it isn't like we wouldn't be noticed.

After this time of trying on countless gorgeous kimonos, and me deciding I wanted to buy at least four, I settled on a brilliant blue one, with a wavy pattern integrated into the outer fabric, along with a shiny gold-patterned obi to wear with it. Yes, no wedding dress for me, and some might think it odd that I would simply settle on this ensemble found in a thrift store (for only $140) and without looking around more... but, I am a simple girl. I prefer simplicity and I had an idea in my mind of what I wanted to begin with, something soft, simple, and that would make me feel elegant and pretty. Yes, a rather girlish notion, but it was the image in my head. Now, I don't have to worry anymore about trying to find something here in Japan - no more stressing about going to other cities and trying to figure out where I will find something I like. Now.... bridesmaid's outfits.... sigh.

So, it has been a little over two months now since my arrival in Japan. I feel as if I am coming to terms with various things these days. One thing that gets me sometimes, is the fact that it takes three times as much energy to do one thing that would be simple for me to do by myself in the U.S. Such as, doing a transfer on the ATM. Of course, these challenges hardly phase me, although they do frustrate me at times with how much time it takes and my lack of understanding, and because of my resourcefulness I feel that I am able to figure things out quite quickly and then feel a great sense of accomplishment when I have figured it out. I have a feeling that not all people do this, try to figure things out, perhaps they don't care or just give up or have someone else do it for them, but, being independent, I am forcing myself to figure out how things work in Japanese so I don't need to ask for help. Although, the interesting thing is, when I do ask for help, 9 times out of 10, people usually have no idea how to help me, so really, I find asking people for the most part is useless anyway.

This has made me think of independence versus interdependence more lately - Japan being traditionally an Eastern culture and thus more interdependent. The United States obviously Western and as independent as a two year old. Two incredibly different ideologies that permeate how children are raised and how life is carried out every day. Neither is better than the other really, from a sociological point of view, as each has advantages and disadvantages. As for parenting, the ideal philosophy would be a mix of the two, allowing children certain amounts of independence at appropriate stages of life, and also ensuring a healthy sense of dependence on parents and family and society as a whole. However, I have noticed that the influences of Western culture are far more evident on youth here and even young adults like myself. Nothing quite like Western countries yet, but... I see many budding similarities. And getting to my point, thinking about marriage also has pushed me to analyze these ideas of independence and interdependence. I am an incredibly independent person, and while it is a big part of my personality (nature), nurture also shaped me to be even more independent and not to depend on anyone, for ANYTHING. So, needless to say, being in a foreign country and attempting to learn and figure things out, it is far outside my comfort zone to ask for help from anyone, even though its something I need to learn. I think interdependence is a healthy thing to learn and use in accompaniment of independence. Imagine how that might change the various social climates in the U.S....

Back to Japan. I was riding my bike to the grocery store last week, when suddenly a creepy white van pulls off the road and a young Brazilian man yells out the window to me "Sumimasen! Sumimasen!" (excuse me). Of course, not one to talk to strangers generally, and with a media induced fear of men in creepy white vans, I sped away on my bike. Not long after the same man pulls up aside my bike (I am riding on the sidewalk, he is on the road). Again he calls "Sumimasen!" and some other garble in Japanese that I couldn't understand. I was getting a bit more freaked out at this point and hurried to my destination, the grocery store. He had to stop at a red light, but then as I was rushing into the store, again, pulls up near me and yells "Excuse me, sorry, sorry, but do you speak English?" Of course, how do I respond to that? I hesitantly offer a yes, and he proceeds to ask about a nearby DVD store. I shrug and say there is no DVD store around here, and say its across the train tracks back the way he came. He is confused, and then starts to inquire about my job, age, why I came to Japan, where I'm from, etc. I had fun offering stretched-truth answers, as I tried to demise an escape plan. Finally, he asks for my phone number, oh such boldness. I of course, replied I don't give out my phone number. So he asked if he could give me his. Anything to get rid of him I rationalized... and so he wrote it down, said, "hope to see you soon darling!" and drove off. Usually, my friends are the ones to get hit on, but I guess current circumstance render me as the default in this case.

I also had the privilege of attending a traditional Noh play this past week. It involved two days of "explanation" for those of us who don't understand Noh plays (which is most Japanese as well) so we could understand what was going on. Oh, and the explanation was IN Japanese of course. So, my two and a half hours on each separate day involved sitting, attempting to catch beginning or ending words, and then zoning out and praying for the whole thing to end so I could go home. Wow, what cultural enthusiasm. The wonderfully nice teacher who invited me to this of course, explained things to me in English later so I could understand some of it. She also joked the second day that I must have understood more than the first day. I really couldn't say which day allowed more absorption...

Finally, the third day was the actual play. I had been warned about this by various people - that the common joke about Noh is not to fall asleep. Well, I was pretty excited to dress up for once, and felt all important doing something so cultural. I will say that Noh plays are traditionally only performed by men, and the main character or characters usually wear a mask that actually changes the expression based on lighting (which I think interested me the most about the whole thing). Then, no speaking, but sounds that resemble chanting/droning/groaning/agonizing. I could see, as I sat mostly listening to this play (since there was a tall person in front of me), how people fall asleep. I again zoned out numerous times and avidly awaited the ending so I could go home and sleep. Not to sure I want to go to a Noh again, but at least I can say I did it.

As I finish this off, I should mention the various mosquito carcasses littered across my walls. I really don't know how they get in, but I often wake up in the morning with 10 - 20 mosquito bites, so, I have been stalking them lately. Other than them, all is quiet on the bug front. Perhaps many of them are going into hibernation for the winter, aside the spiders. Although I seem to find more centipedes these days....

Oh and random note, they don't sell Hydrogen Peroxide in Japan (H2O2). Apparently only chemists can use this, whereas in the U.S. you can buy a huge bottle for a $1. The pharmacist was confused that I would use it for anything other than cleaning injuries. I kept repeating "kuuuriiinnnn" (clean) but he was confused. The lady translating for me said kurin as well, and of course he understood her. Sometimes this happens, where I will say something, and a native Japanese will say the exact sane thing and then whoever we are speaking to suddenly understands for them. I really don't know what to say about that. My next mission - getting a haircut.