My Own Medical (Drama) Show

Apparently, social networking sites like Twitter or even public blogs seem to instigate make-the-customer-happy compensation. Such was the case for this couple. So, perhaps I may also dare to use this posting as an extortion to...well, read on. Oh, never fear reader, this should hopefully be amusing to you, in any case.

Let's start with the medical industry in Japan this country I live in that shall remain nameless. A few weeks ago, you remember, I was rather sick. Before that, I actually had an incident where I nearly passed out at school. They carried me to the nurse's room in a gurney... and the vice-principal kept patting my face and asking (in Japanese) if I could see her, and if I was ok. Of course I'm not ok... I'm laying on the floor in the staff room. What other time would I choose to lay on the floor in any place but my home? I digress.

Since this episode and my sickness, whatever it was... I have been hardly able to return to work. Standing is a chore, walking is like a cross country race, even moving my head around seems to emulate a feeling akin to those amusement park rides that spin you around and wave you up and down... like a cat playing with a mouse or other small rodent of choice. So, David took me to the hospital this week, and after a million tests, pertaining to my heart, all was deemed normal and they suggested that perhaps I am under stress. I was actually feeling fantastic before all this began, better than all of last year, so I wasn't sure how to respond to that. Stress?! Do you want to see stress, buddy?!?! I'll show you what this stressed-out woman looks like!!! I merely avoided eye-contact, looking at David as I started to cry, since once again, an unsolvable problem by doctors. Surprise, surprise. I should at least be thankful they were able to figure out that my UTI was indeed a UTI a few months ago. Kudos, bladder doctor guy, you have solved infinitely more than any other medical professional I have seen since coming here.

The cardiologist recommended seeing an ear/nose doctor. We went the next day, despite me swaying back and forth when I walked and not being able to keep my head straight most of the time. The man looked in my ears, gave me a hearing test, then had me lay on the patient bed and held these ridiculous-looking goggles up to my eyes and him and the nurse moved my body around while examining my eyes. Of course, this didn't really make me lightheaded any more than I was... and the doctor decided I must be fine since nothing happened. However, they weren't really moving me very fast and they were both supporting me so it wasn't exactly what I would be doing on my own. Plus, they didn't really look at my eyes after they made me put my head upside down over the edge of the bed. He started talking to David (in Japanese) and I suddenly hear "psychiatry." I turn, make eye contact with David, (I had been staring off into space only a moment ago due to my lightheadedness) and glared. David, of course, knew I had understood this small bit, the bit that I would have been better off not understanding, as this doctor apparently thought I was a nut-case. He asked me if I was stressed, to which I said no... all the while thinking about the fact of these doctors asking if I'm stressed, makes me stressed. It must be a common diagnosis. Oh, you are coughing up blood today? You must be stressed.

That's the end of that saga for now. Will I make it to work Monday? Will I collapse on the train and cause train delays prefecture-wide? To be continued.